


Just A Touch

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Bottom Sam, Dominant/Top Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Dean Winchester, M/M, Mild Kink, Mildly Dubious Consent, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Protective Dean Winchester, Season/Series 08, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:44:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1-shot, slightly PWP. Someone unexpected needs something only Sam can give. Sam soon finds himself in a situation that makes him have to face the strain between him and Dean head on when he’s left needing help that only his brother can give and he’s uncertain if Dean will even care he’s gone. Still bitter & angry after Purgatory, Dean also faces some hard truths & learns what’s important to him. *Slightly limp/confused/upset!Sam & bitter/upset/but still caring!Dean. A couple unexpected guest shots* (Dean/Sam) <br/>Set in season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Explicit content since Wincest ensues, slightly at first but more at the end. I’ll also warn for language, kink, light bondage. The dub-con warning is up even though it’s light since Sam is aware of what’s happening & agrees but I’ll also put up a mild non-con for the beginning just to be safe. (this one is one of those on murky warning ground).
> 
> A/N: This was supposed to be a simple and quick PWP piece (still might try one of those) but clearly the plot bunny took control to twist it into an emotional uproar for Sam. Also, to try to keep confusion down italics will be used to help readers tell the difference between…well, you’ll get the idea (can’t spoil the plot).

“Dean? That you?” cursing as soap ran into his eyes as he attempted to wash dried blood and mud from his hair after the salt and burned turned a bit more complicated than he and Dean were expecting, Sam Winchester hissed at the burning in his eyes while listening for a reply. “Dean?”

Normally it was Dean taking hits from ghosts but this time the damn spirit had ignored his older brother and sent Sam flying across the graveyard.

Of course considering some of the things he’d had going wrong these days Sam guessed a small cut on his forehead, a bruised shoulder and being covered in mud wasn’t too bad especially given everything else.

Compared to jumping into the Cage with two raving pissed off Archangels, losing his soul, walking around without that soul for well over a year and doing things without it that still haunted him, to getting it back, nearly going insane when the wall in his head crashed, being driven there finally with visions of Lucifer tormenting him to losing his brother to Purgatory for a year and now to have all the crap between him and Dean…yeah, a few basic wounds were good.

Hearing the bathroom door open to allow a brief burst of cool air into the steam filled room, Sam shivered but was still too focused on washing the soap out of his eyes to offer a comment about why his brother was back from getting dinner so soon…until he felt the shower curtain move and the familiar weight of a chest against his back.

“I thought you were getting dinner and pain meds…not that I’m complaining but don’t bitch at me for not eating once I crash,” he finished scrubbing the soap from his eyes just in time to feel an arm slip around his chest to draw him back while lips smoothed over his neck. “Hey…you okay?”

Sam could normally pinpoint his brother’s moods with just a look or a touch since these days they were still tense with one another and they hadn’t really even talked about going here again but for some reason as he settled back against the hard chest like he normally would if Dean stepped behind him something felt off or more off than usual, especially when it hit Sam that his brother hadn’t come close to him sexually since returning so this was a shock.

“Dean? Something wrong?” he asked, starting to shift so he could face Dean but the arm tightened with a strength he hadn’t felt in his brother before and a shiver of something began to curl in him. “Dean?”

“Shhh. Stay still. I’m not going to hurt you.”

The voice that spoke against his ear caused all the hair on Sam’s arms to raise because while his brother’s tone of voice could change and had changed since his return from Hell and all they’d been through since, especially since Dean’s return from Purgatory it still wasn’t as deep or gravelly as this one was and even as his eyes were clearing finally of soap and water Sam caught sight of the jagged scar on the arm holding him still and swore.

“Shit!” he went to tense to fight back, furious that he’d been so stupid to allow something like this to happen even though he wasn’t sure how anything could get past the lines of salt or sigils they always used in the motel rooms. “Get the hell…ugh!”

The man behind him shifted to avoid the hard elbow Sam shoved back to try to dislodge the weight that suddenly pushed him forward against the shower wall while the arm that was around his chest let go long enough to quickly pull the hunter’s arms behind him to pin them there while a swift foot behind Sam’s ankles took him off balance and to his knees in the tub, leaving him pinned under a weight that was familiar but not.

“Get the hell…” a strong calloused grip covered his mouth to cut off the shouted curse but Sam still fought what he viewed as an attack by something since he knew this was not his brother even though the sight of the silver ring wiped out one of his suspects right away.

The hand covering his mouth didn’t ease or move as Sam struggled until finally he slumped forward as his head buzzed from exertion and felt the body behind him follow him to keep his arms and legs trapped.

“Don’t fight this, Sam. I don’t want to hurt you. Just relax and don’t make any noise cause no one’s going to hear you,” the deeper and huskier voice spoke calmly as the hand was moved slowly to allow the young hunter to take a few breaths. “Don’t look back and don’t move.”

Taking shallow breaths until he no longer heard his heart in his ears. “What are you?” he asked lowly, flinching at the feel of fingers in his hair. “Don’t touch me,” Sam jerked his head away from the touch only to hiss when those same fingers dug into his scalp with a hard pull.

“You know who I am, Sammy,” the man chuckled, turning the water off while watching the tiny shivers work through the tense muscles under his hands.

“Only my brother calls me that or used to so shut up,” Sam growled, trying to pull away from the touch on his chest that only Dean did to cause a reaction out of him. “Please…don’t…”

“Not gonna hurt you,” the voice murmured, shifting his body to grab something. “I know you don’t understand what this is yet and you might not but so long as you don’t fight it you’ll be fine…and Dean’ll find you eventually.”

Sam jerked his head back up at that comment but before he could look his eyes were covered with some type of blindfold that blocked his vision completely. “What…where’s my brother?” he demanded, twisting his hands as bitter frustration was filling him at being unable to free himself when he felt he should be able to and fear for Dean. “What did you do to him? What do you want?”

“Dean’s fine…if probably by now more than little pissed off and as worried about you as you are for him,” the deeper tone took an odd shift at that but then put more weight on how he was holding Sam’s legs still. “I need some time and didn’t need big brother charging to the rescue so he’s been…removed from the immediate picture but he’ll be able to find you,” he assured the hunter, moving something. “You’re going to go to sleep now though.”

“Like hell I am,” Sam snapped, tensing to fight again when the sudden pressure of a rag soaked with chloroform covered his mouth and nose and he bucked against the now tight hold. “No…let…mmmhg!”

“Shhh, calm down and just breathe, Sam. You’ll wake up soon and I swear, nothing will happen to you while you’re asleep,” he held the rag tighter to assure it took hold faster while keeping the younger man as still as possible right then and trying to ignore the tears he felt falling over his hand.

After several minutes Sam’s struggles slowly ceased with a soft whimper before going limp in his captors’ arms and only once he was certain that the drug had rendered Sam unconscious did the man ease back to step from the tub with a glance down. “I’m sorry it had to be this way, little brother.”

The sound of low music and fire crackling woke Sam sluggishly, his head ached, his mouth felt like cotton and he was confused until it all came back in a sudden rush.

The hunt, the ghost, his minor wounds, Dean leaving him at the motel to shower while he went for dinner and meds…then things went weird but as Sam’s breathing picked up upon remembering hearing a voice that was his brother’s and yet it wasn’t he tensed to move only to nearly panic.

Waking up after getting attacked and drugged was not one of Sam’s favorite things. Waking up tied spread eagled on a bed that he knew even without being able to see was not one of the queen size beds in the motel was worse and brought back a slew of memories that he didn’t want.

Tensing his arms, Sam gritted his teeth. Both his arms and legs were tied to the point where he had no give in the ropes but then as he woke up more he began to also pick up on other little things that he wasn’t sure should relieve him or worry him.

The first was, other than the blindfold that kept him from seeing, he knew by feel that he’d been dressed if only in jeans. He knew he wasn’t gagged which was another shot of surprise when he could actually touch his tongue to his dry lips and didn’t feel anything in his mouth.

The music that he heard was low and crackly which told him that a radio was on but the reception wasn’t the best and while the sound of fire crackling on wood still brought back memories of the Cage, Sam could tell after making his ears listen harder that it was coming from a fireplace…another tell that he was no longer in the motel.

Sam’s other senses without his eyes were heightened because he’d been taught to rely on them in such cases and while he’d hated his Dad’s lessons like this he was now glad for them because he could hear the subtle noises in the room he was tied in and picked up on the soft sounds that let him know he wasn’t alone.

The rustling of clothes moving as the man prowled the room with a stride that if Sam could see he realized it would be long and restless…because that was how _his_ brother moved when on edge. The cologne he smelled made his breath catch and nearly panicked again because he knew this was not Dean or at least not the brother he’d grown up idolizing.

The silver ring had assured him that he wasn’t dealing with a shapeshifter. Dean’s anti-possession tattoo was still in place and unmarred after Purgatory so possession was not a possibility and while there was still a few other things that might be able to pull this off, Sam suspected by the tone used and the scar on the arm that his brother didn’t have that he knew now that he could think better what he was facing…just not the why or how.

He also didn’t know where his brother was though a side of Sam honestly wasn’t sure Dean would care right now that this was happening.

“W…why?” he asked, throat dry and his tongue felt like sandpaper with an odd taste on it leftover from the chloroform.

At first no other sound was heard as if the other man was either considering a reply or didn’t want to but Sam’s emotions were stretched too thin to let it go that way.

“Damn it! Answer me and take off the blindfold,” he tensed his arms again, twisting his wrists in the ropes as buried fear began to surface but jerked at a touch to his chest because it was too freakily similar to the way Dean used to touch him to calm him down. “Why?”

“Why what?” the voice was still deep and gruffer than Dean’s voice was today but the tone was just slightly dry, meaning his captor knew exactly what the question was. “Stop fighting the ropes. You’ll just hurt yourself.”

“Why’re you doing this?” Sam tried to swallow to get some spit back but knew it wouldn’t happen since that was a common aftereffect for him and that drug. “I’ll stop fighting the ropes when he cut me loose,” he shot back then suddenly stilled. “Take the blindfold off…please.”

“It’s better for you if I don’t, Sam.”

Being tied and helpless was big issue for Sam but not being able to see made it three times worse, especially right then. “I know who you are,” he said quickly when he heard footsteps walking away from the bed. “I…I don’t know how you’re here or why but…I know who you are and…please, just let me see you…Dean.”

For several seconds nothing moved and Sam wondered if he’d been left alone until suddenly the blindfold was pulled off to leave him rapidly blinking against the sudden harsh light until he looked up and felt a tightness squeeze his chest.

Dean hadn’t told him too much about what had happened that time a years back when Zachariah transported him supposedly into the future to come face to face with a world after Sam had said ‘yes’ to Lucifer and what he did say was mainly that his future self was an asshole.

For Sam, the explanation seemed to be more like what his brother would have been like after losing everything he cared for and watching the world go to Hell literally.

Now as his vision adjusted to seeing again and he looked up into the grim, hardset rugged features of a man that looked like his brother but with more loss and hardness in him Sam silently wondered why after a year stuck in Purgatory, Dean didn’t resemble this man more.

“Sam,” _‘Dean’_ hadn’t wanted the boy to see him but in his mind he wasn’t certain if he was protecting Sam or himself since even now he found it hard to look into hazel eyes that still broke his heart.

Knowing or suspecting who he was dealing with was one thing but to actually look into the hard green eyes of a man that wasn’t really Dean but was shook Sam a bit more than he liked.

His brother since returning from Purgatory had a hardness and coldness that often scared the younger man at times, especially when Dean would drink or throw it up to Sam how he’d failed him. This man, this stranger with Dean’s face, scared him for other reasons.

“Why?” Sam asked again, wincing as he had to try three times to get one word out of his dry mouth. “I’m not…God…”

A bottle of water with a straw in it was placed by his lips. “Drink,” _‘Dean’_ smirked at the look Sam gave him but held it still while he took several sips before letting his head fall back to the pillow. “I know you’re not Lucifer, Sam. I know what you did to beat him and I know you’re confused by this.”

Placing the water on the table by the bed, _‘Dean’_ looked around the one room cabin that he’d brought the younger man to for this before slowly settling back on the face that looked more lost than his own younger brother had in years.

“I can’t offer too many explanations since I don’t have many myself but all I need you to understand is I’m not here to hurt you. Once I do what I came here to do I’ll be gone and you’ll never see me again,” he looked closer and recognized the subtle little things on Sam’s face and by the way he held himself in the ropes that told him the hunter was close to panic. “Sammy…”

“Please don’t call me that,” Sam whispered, having to look away suddenly because the deep tone, the almost caring one, brought tears to his eyes that he didn’t want this man to see fall. “He hasn’t even called me that since getting back and…”

Upon arriving in this time, this reality, _‘Dean’_ had been given a crash course on the lives of both Winchesters so he knew what had been going on and also why this move might upset Sam but he was also hoping it would snap something loose in his other self to make him to see what was still important to him.

“He will…when he’s ready,” he hoped it would be that simple, hand hesitating over Sam’s chest again as if wanting to touch but holding himself back. “He will come for you…and will probably shoot me if I’m still here.”

Sam suddenly laughed a little but it was just on the side of either sarcasm and fear, noticing for the first time it was a one room cabin he was in with the biggest thing in the room being the bed he was tied to while a tiny kitchen and fireplace could also be seen.

“Dean’s mad at me so he’ll probably just think I took off again,” he muttered, accepting he wasn’t freeing himself from the ropes when he felt wetness on his wrist and knew he’d dug them raw enough to bleed. “Do what you want…but why put the jeans on me?”

The tired accepting tone reminded _‘Dean’_ of his own version of Sam when his brother would just give up and that bothered this _‘Dean’_ a little more than he thought it would…not that he’d admit that yet. “Why not?” he was curious about this comment, still not actually touching Sam as he went to throw another few logs on the fire to keep the cabin warm.

“It would’ve made it easier for you if you’d left the jeans off or took ‘em back off before tying me down,” Sam replied, biting his lip a little as he tried not to think on what would probably happen soon. “Hell, the whole thing would’ve been easier if you’d done it while I was still unconscious…unless you want to watch me while you…”

“While I…what?” _‘Dean’_ demanded, voice dropping even lower when he suddenly turned to watch Sam’s eyes look away and a sinking feeling settled on him that he hadn’t felt in years. “Sam…what the hell do you think I’m going to do to you?”

“Rape me.”

The reply was a whisper but in the quiet cabin and to _‘Dean’_ it sounded like a shout and his eyes narrowed into hot green slits as he took two steps to put him back beside the bed to glare down. “Has he?” he demanded tightly, fearing just what kind of man this version of him had become after coping with both Hell and now Purgatory. “Sam…has your Dean…”

“No, of course not,” Sam’s eyes snapped up, shock plain at the thought. “He won’t come near me since getting back. I just assumed…I don’t know…” he suddenly began to twist his wrists restlessly while pulling his legs with a sound of frustration. “Just…tell me what you want from me.”

“Just a touch, Sam,” _‘Dean’_ finally told him simply, seeing the younger man freeze in his struggles before he stopped moving to just look at him, a familiar furrow forming between his eyes. “That’s all I want from you. Just to touch.”

Sam blinked as if having trouble understanding but the fear of being touched even by someone who resembled his brother was also huge. “Why?” he asked, finding his mouth was drying up again. “If you’re alive again, did something happen to keep…me…yeah, that’s weird, from not being possessed or…”

“I’m not sure what happened to change things but while I’m not dead and the whole zombie mess is gone, Sam, my Sam, he didn’t come out of it well,” _‘Dean’_ explained what he could when it didn’t make sense to him. “Lucifer’s gone and it’s like it never happened but…there’s also a part of Sam that’s gone too. He’s a child again and usually just stays in his room reading or looking out the window but…he whimpers at even a simple touch to his hair so it’s hard.

“I won’t hurt him…I won’t hurt you but…” the older man scrubbed a hand through short hair while shooting a smirk at Sam. “I’d hoped upon waking up to see most of my world fixed that Sam and I would be as well but I guess Angels and demons still want to screw with us because what better way to punish me than to give me my brother back but take away his ability to think or choose,” he’d known that was the short straw and accepted it. “I’ll do that. I’ll take care of him until I’m dead but…I just need to be able to touch him one more time in some way and…”

Thinking of how easily he could’ve ended up in the exact same position if Dean hadn’t fought so hard for his sanity and if Castiel hadn’t done whatever he had before Purgatory happened, Sam thought he understood the man’s loss because in some way he was going through a similar situation now.

Dean’s mood changes, his reactions post-Purgatory kept his brother from either letting Sam in or wanting to be with him in a way that had become second nature to them for years and a piece of Sam was wishing just for a touch if only to take away the pain of the year before.

“Can…can you untie me?” Sam asked hesitantly; pretty sure of the answer even before a look of regret entered the green eyes that he realized could still show some emotion.

“I’m sorry, Sam…I can’t,” _‘Dean’_ sighed, wishing he could since he knew if this man was anything like his own brother then being tied like this was murder for Sam. “Part of the agreement I made to come back here was that I had to keep you tied. I refused to gag you or keep you naked but the tied up part is still nonnegotiable.

Not surprised but still not pleased with it, Sam did appreciate the other things as he opened and closed his hands a few time before slowly nodding. “So…why haven’t you done it?” he asked curiously. “Once you do what you want…then you go back to where you’re from and…you’ll let me go?”

“That’s the deal,” _‘Dean’_ replied, not mentioning that he wouldn’t be untied until his own brother was there because that had also been part of the deal. “As for why I haven’t yet…I said before that you wouldn’t be touched while asleep and I won’t touch you now unless you give your permission,” he paused with a crooked smile that reminded Sam of when he and Dean had been younger and his brother still trusted him. “I know, it’s twisted but that was my decision in this. I won’t force you to do anything and I won’t touch you if you say no.”

“But if I say no then I’m a prisoner because whoever’s helping you in this won’t let Dean find me even if he’s looking…right?” Sam tensed automatically at the short nod, understanding sinking in with a little dread. “How do I know I won’t be killed or worse even if I agree?”

_‘Dean’_ looked straight into his eyes. “Because I’ve promised you won’t be hurt and if I thought otherwise, if I thought the asshole would trick me or not keep the deal I wouldn’t have agreed to this,” he was firm on this, holding Sam’s eyes. “Your Dean will come, he will find you and you will not be hurt during or after. Would you believe him if he said this to you?”

“Yes,” Sam’s reply was instant and honest because no matter how much his brother may hate him now he would still believe Dean and slowly he allowed himself to believe this version as well. “Fine,” he murmured after dropping his eyes for a moment to settle his nerves and then looking back up. “Do what you need to.”

_‘Dean’s’_ eyes widened slightly at this but he settled his gaze firmly on Sam’s face to watch him. “I need you to say it, Sam,” he told him, slowly moving a hand up to curve under the younger man’s tight jaw. “Yes or no, will you let me touch you?”

“Yes,” Sam whispered, closing his eyes and suddenly glad he was tied because he knew his body would still tense at the first touch or… “Mmf?”

Gentle lips touched his mouth to offer a slight, almost chaste, kiss. “Thank you,” the man whispered. “I won’t hurt you,” he promised, knowing better than to ask Sam to relax but also suspecting what the young hunter was expecting as well.

“I’m just going to touch you there, Sam,” _‘Dean’_ assured him as his hand finally settled on the side of Sam’s neck to slowly move down carefully as if he were touching glass before skimming over his chest to place it over his heart to feel it beating fast. “Are you scared?”

“A little,” Sam admitted, a little uneasy at how gentle and slow the other version of his brother was going since he’d expected fast and rough touches but as he watched the man from under half closed lashes to see his face set in an odd look of determination but also for the first time noticed what he was wearing.

A green military style jacket had been tossed over a chair across the room while he still wore a simple navy blue flannel with faded and worn jeans but it was the thigh holster he wore that attracted Sam’s eyes even though the gun it normally carried had also been placed across the room.

“Don’t be,” _‘Dean’_ whispered roughly, not missing the look but not saying anything about it while letting his fingers stroke over and down while wanting to follow with his mouth but not wanting to shock Sam. “I’m not going to do anything but touch you in little ways…what?”

“I’m tied up. All you’d have to do is unsnap and unzip the jeans to allow you to do more,” Sam wasn’t understanding this man. “I said you could do what you needed to so…why aren’t you?”

“There’s a limit to what I feel right doing and because you’re not mine to do that with,” _‘Dean’_ replied, lifting his eyes that clearly showed the building desire held in check. “Touching, kissing is pushing the boundaries and I know it’s wrong to want you as much as I do my own but the main thing is…you belong to him, Sam and he will see that again.”

Sam had to swallow the lump that formed, opening his eyes fully to watch the way a hand simply curved over his side to trace the muscles that could be seen with how he was stretched. “Kissing?” he shivered under the hand when it crossed his stomach to allow calloused but gentle fingers to just feather over the V just above the waistline of his jeans.

“Yeah, little ones if you’ll allow it,” _‘Dean’_ suspected with all the stress he’d sensed between Sam and his brother lately that the kid was probably starved for a touch of any kind and he seriously considered beating himself bloody for doing this to Sam. “How long’s it been for you, Sam?” he asked curiously, giving in to the urge to place light kisses against the V that disappeared lower than he was letting himself go.

“Over…a year really,” Sam chewed on his lower lips as he tried to ignore how good it felt to feel again but it bothered him that someone else was making him feel this way. “Dean and I haven’t had sex since right before he got sucked into Purgatory and the few times I did while he was gone…I never got off on it. I’d jerk off in the shower but even then it still felt wrong to not be with…”

Slowly unbuttoning his shirt to see the way Sam’s eyes were riveted to every move his fingers made, _‘Dean’_ knew this wasn’t fair what he was making Sam feel but it was far too late to turn back now. “I won’t try to get you off, Sam,” he murmured, laying his shirt aside before positioning himself so his chest could touch Sam’s as he began to offer kisses along the line of his neck. “Before I dressed you…I slipped a cockring on just to be safe,” he felt the jerk of the body under him. “I didn’t think you’d want to come for me…do you?”

Since this was the first time in over thirteen months that his body had even felt interested in something sexual a piece of Sam did but the main part didn’t because this still felt too much like cheating to him and the guilt would be bad enough as it was.

“I…can’t,” he couldn’t quite hide the low moan as teeth scraped his jaw just as fingertips stroked over a rock hard pebble on his chest to bring it hard before warm lips drew it into a mouth he silently wondered about because it had been so long since he’d felt his brother’s that this was making him ache in worse ways than just his cock. “Please…”

“Shhh, baby. No guilt or regrets since this is all on me,” _‘Dean’_ soothed him even as he was shifting so the hardening bulge in his jeans pressed against the hard muscle of Sam’s thigh. “You didn’t ask for this and it’s just basically me using you as a release because I can’t have what I want or need so regardless of anything else there is no guilt on you for what I do and…and I’ll tell him that if he doesn’t shoot me first,”

“Dean…won’t care,” Sam tensed suddenly at the feel of lips against his, jerking for the first time since giving permission for this to happen. “Not…there,” he pleaded softly, fear briefly appearing in his eyes as the future/alternate version of his brother looked at him before nodding.

“The jackass doesn’t know what he’s doing or costing himself,” _‘Dean’_ muttered under his breath, feeling his heart clench at the way Sam still tried to keep himself from betraying his brother and what they once shared even though Dean’s been treating him like crap since returning from Purgatory. “Here?”

He kissed the hollow of Sam’s throat but felt the tension radiating and understood. “Sweet little boy, I wish I could give you what you need and want,” he spoke quietly, surprised that after so long of keeping the harder side in control that he could be this way with someone again and praying that when he went back he could give his own brother the same gentleness that Sam would need to one day recover. “Does he know how much you still want him?”

“Dean thinks I didn’t look for him and that I gave up hunting,” Sam’s voice was low, watching the denim covered erection thrust against his thigh for friction and understood. “He thinks I found normal and…he doesn’t want this anymore or me like that so it’s been a lot of cold showers or jerking off while he’s sleeping or out or…can you please just get this over with so I can maybe pretend my own brother might one day not treat me like a leper?”

Running fingers that shook at actual anger at his other self through hair longer than his brother ever wore, _‘Dean’_ nodded but made no moves to kiss Sam again as he just lightly touched him in ways that made them both shudder but he sped up so it didn’t hurt the younger man more emotionally.

“He’ll come around, Sam,” he assured Sam while reaching for the blindfold, noticing the widening hazel eyes. “It’s better for you not to watch me. Can you do one more thing?”

_‘Dean’_ let his cock rub over Sam’s straining jean covered leg while pushing to his knees to slowly straddle his chest while placing the blindfold back over his eyes.

“You want me to suck you off,” Sam guessed that even before hearing the slow slide of a zipper. “I’m…not too good at this,” he admitted quietly, uncertain if he could do it. “Dean never liked for me to suck him off though he was fine when he did it to me. I thought touching…”

Stroking a hand over Sam’s face slowly, _‘Dean’_ moved closer while hissing as he brought his cock out to see it red and dripping. “Touching was what I needed and wanted but the deal with the sex crazy Angel in question has two last nonnegotiable things that I have to do before this is over and I leave and your brother shows up and me coming with you sucking me off is one of them.”

He wished it wasn’t since he’d tried to say he could get off just fine but it was one of the few conditions he couldn’t get out of if he wanted this. “Don’t take it too far,” he couldn’t stop the deep groan that came the moment Sam’s mouth took his cock to begin to suck it while _‘Dean’_ placed his knees on either side of Sam’s head as he worked to both keep the younger man from taking it too deep and choking and to keep himself from thrusting. “God…your brother is so missing something by not letting you do this.”

Sam started at this, a faint blush on his cheeks and he tried to lift his head a little to take the cock deeper but fingers in his hair kept him still to allow the other _‘Dean’s’_ hips to roll up once before he began to thrust against his mouth with more control than the young man expected.

“Take me…a bit deeper and suck harder now, Sam,” he groaned, seeing the way Sam’s hands clenched in the ropes and took his one hand away from Sam’s hair to hold onto his hands until he felt them unclench to grip his while trying to follow instructions. “Good, that’s… _sonuvabitch_!” he gasped out a groan at the hesitant touch of a tongue licking up the sensitive nerve on the cock before touching the slit and he thrust forward. “Shit, Sam…I I’m gonna…”

_‘Dean’_ tried to give Sam some warning but the orgasm hit him too fast and he tightened his muscles to keep from fucking Sam’s mouth as he rode the climax out with a moan and he was glad the blindfold kept Sam from seeing this as he shot come down his throat.

Recalling what to do from the first time he and Dean had done this and his brother had let him swallow as he came down his throat, Sam had relaxed his throat when he felt the man’s first shudder and knew the climax would be coming.

It was eerie for Sam at how much this man was like his own brother in how they reacted because this _‘Dean’_ kept his thrusts smooth and not as hard as Sam would’ve expected given the need pushing him and he continued to suck the cock a bit harder to offer as much from this as he could and only slowed when he felt the thrusts and come in his mouth slow down until finally it seemed to be over, weight settling on his shoulders as the man tried to slow his breathing.

“Sam, you do not give yourself enough credit for blowjobs,” _‘Dean’_ spoke after a few moments of finding his voice and making sure it was steady since that orgasm had truthfully rocked him, easing out of Sam’s mouth to tuck himself back into his jeans and using a hand to gently wipe the spit and come from Sam’s lips and jaw before giving one final soft kiss just to the corner of his mouth, tasting himself there. “Thank you,” he murmured while reaching over onto the bedside table for something that had appeared and felt like throwing a snarl if he didn’t know this was almost completed. “I’m sorry for this next thing.”

Much more tired than he thought he’d be just from giving a blowjob, Sam didn’t try to move away from the touch on his face until something in the deep voice struck him as odd and wished he could see the man’s face again because with any version of his brother it seemed the eyes were a window to his soul and to his emotions.

“Sorry? For what?” he winced as his voice sounded rough which he guess was from what had just happened. “What’s the other thing you said you had to do?”

Tensing as he worried just what else the damn supposed to be dead Angel, or Archangel if Sam was now reading this right, might want done but felt a hand touch his shoulder to squeeze it.

“No, not that,” _‘Dean’_ replied firmly, reading the hunter’s body language enough to know what he feared was coming. “I said earlier that I don’t have the right to do that…I didn’t have the right to do this but…”

“I know and…I’m…fine,” Sam would be better if he could see and if he didn’t know on some base instinct that something was about to happen that he wouldn’t like when he felt the feel of cloth touching his lips and his body went rigid. “What…no…”

“Not for long but I need to gag you for this,” _‘Dean’_ had fought the gag for as long as he could but had only been allowed not to use it until the end and in some way he was glad since he knew he wouldn’t be able to do this next thing if Sam would speak. “Shhh, no pain but…the final rule to this was I need to leave you hard and wanting before I leave and…” he paused as he slipped the cloth into Sam’s mouth to tie it securely behind his head. “…and you can’t touch yourself or rub off on anything after you get loose.”

Sam blinked behind the blindfold as confusion set in and then near panic as it hit him what was happening only seconds before the feel of a warm mouth closed over the head of his cock through his jeans and the cloth in his mouth muffled the shouts that wanted to come as he tensed his body again but found the other man’s weight solid against his legs.

“I said I wouldn’t get you off but I didn’t say I wouldn’t leave you hard because that’s what he wants,” _‘Dean’_ murmured, continuing to mouth the cock he could feel hardening under his touch while running a soothing hand up over Sam’s straining stomach. “It’s been how long since anyone’s gotten you this hard, Sam?” he asked, knowing the answer and also knowing if it wasn’t for the cockring he’d slipped on Sam earlier the kid would be coming already just by the whimpers coming from under the gag.

_‘Dean’_ felt the way Sam tried to twist himself loose again, hating to do this to the kid without knowing if his brother would take care of it but it was the last condition before he could leave Sam and put his all into bringing the hunter to the state of near pain as his cock and balls swelled from the need to climax but was trapped by both the cockring and his own tight jeans that were now wet from the precome leaking out of his cock.

The sound of a familiar engine had him shifting his head to listen, guessing that Sam also heard the Impala’s roar when he made a muffled noise that was part plea to stop and part plea not to hurt his brother.

“Calm down now and stay still,” he murmured against Sam’s ear as he pushed up to pull his shirt back on but stayed sitting beside the young man until he slowly stilled his struggles some, chest heaving again. “Dean’ll be fine if you do what I said. You can’t touch yourself to jerk off or rub against anything. Your brother has to be the one to handle this.”

The alternate older Winchester suspected that was another thing causing the near panic in Sam since he feared his brother’s reaction to this and also knew how Dean had been acting towards him. “Remember, no guilt and I’ll handle him,” he was no back to his gruff tone but the touch was still soothing as he leaned down to whisper to Sam. “You beat Lucifer, Sam. You survived all of this so you and Dean will get over this…just stay still until he gets his ass in here and once I’m gone this will never happen again.”

Sam felt the bed shift as the man stepped away and even with his heart pounding in his ears again he figured he’d have to be deaf to miss the low and nearly forgotten pissed off tone as he heard Dean shout for him and wished it was out of true feeling and not from the more common sense of duty his brother still felt toward him.

“ ** _Sam_**!”

Dean Winchester’s temper had been borderline tense since returning from Purgatory a month earlier but this stunt had shoved him over into well beyond pissed and furious with a side of freaked out.

He’d stepped out to get dinner and some pain meds for Sam only to return to the motel to find his brother gone and soon found himself two states away with a smirking Archangel waving at him.

The former Trickster hadn’t been a favorite of Dean’s to begin with so finding out that for some reason the asshole wasn’t dead didn’t make him happy. Learning that he was doing everything in his power to keep him from getting back to Sam made him mad but it was finally when he popped into the Impala to explain that until Sam had served someone else’s purpose that he wasn’t getting close to him that a side that the hunter believed was gone shot to the surface.

He and Sam had issues, serious ones, but that didn’t mean that he was going to stand back to allow anyone else touch his brother to hurt him or…

Dean’s fists clenched at the thoughts that had been racing through his head every time Gabriel would drop little notes into the car or actually call him with innocent comments that did not calm him down since no one knew about the scar on Sam’s upper thigh but him and there was only one way for someone to have seen it.

Finally getting around all of the damn former Tricksters’ traps or roadblocks, Dean’s stomach was in knots as he drove the Impala as fast as safely possible up the rutted gravel road that led to a small cabin in the middle of nowhere.

The car had barely stopped before he was jumping out to take three running steps when he pulled up short with a snarl while going for his Colt. “You goddamn fucking son of a bitch,” he felt like shooting his own face off as the alternate version of him, that he’d seen die firsthand, stepped from the cabin’s door still buttoning his shirt. “Where’s Sam?”

“Who?” _‘Dean’_ smirked, seeing the way the muscle ticked in his younger self’s face and eye and knew he was pissed off.

“Where’s my brother?” Dean demanded tightly, glittering green eyes shooting past the other him to the door at a sound he heard and gritted his teeth. “I swear to whatever I still believe in that if you hurt him I will find a way to kill both you and that feathered freak.”

Buttoning the last button, he pulled his jacket on while letting his fingers touch the hilt of the gun in the holster on his thigh as if in warning while stepping off the steps to see the way Dean’s body was nearly quivering with the urge to bolt. “That sounds like you still care about him,” he remarked casually, grabbing the wrist that swung at him to jerk it behind the hunter while shoving Dean against the side of the Impala. “Don’t be stupid, Dean.”

“You come back to life, come back to my time, and kidnap Sam from our motel room to bring him here to…” Dean’s teeth were clenched but he resisted the urge to fight back since he understood his couldn’t help his brother if he were dead.

“I needed to touch Sam in a way I can’t my own and he let me,” _‘Dean’_ tightened his grip just enough to make his point as he leaned over the shaking shoulder to drop his voice carefully. “I didn’t hurt him…more than I had to and certainly not more than you have recently, jackass.”

Jerking his head around to glare into his own eyes but it still surprised Dean that the green eyes he stared into were harder than his own had been lately. “What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t laid a hand on him and considering that he…let go,” he snapped when his wrist was twisted a bit harder.

“He thinks you don’t want him. He thinks you wouldn’t even give a crap that he was grabbed and I’m pretty damn sure he’s shocked that you even showed up here but no matter what, no matter how scared he is or how certain that you’ll lay this huge guilt trip on him for not fighting back his first instinct upon hearing the Impala was his worry for you being hurt.

“You want to be pissed off at him for crap you don’t even know? Fine, but before you jump down his throat again why not give Jefferson a call and ask him about the two months Sam spent with him? The first of which had your brother in shock or better yet, why don’t you go pay a visit to Walt and ask him about the week he spent beating the living hell out of Sam,” the smile was tight and dangerous as _‘Dean’_ watched the play of emotions run over his counterpart’s face. “You have no idea how blessed you are to have that kid as your brother or anything else but you damn well better figure it out cause he doesn’t deserve half of the crap you’ve been dumping on him.”

Easing back, _‘Dean’_ waited for the reactive fist to strike out but only nodded when the man in front of him stood still. “Sam needs you now Dean. I hope you don’t disappoint me in missing just how much he needs you. I’m leaving and like I told Sam I won’t be back and I’ll make certain Gabriel doesn’t screw with either of you again just…cut the kid some slack and be his damn brother if you can’t be anything else. Now, get your ass inside and cut him loose. I’m going home to just hold onto my brother and try to make it right. I hope that’s what you do too.”

By the time Dean worked through the bubbling rage to turn around he was alone with only his serious hate for all things with feathers and a deep sense of guilt building as those final words rang in his ears. Then he picked up another sound and broke into a run for the cabin.

“Sam!” the cabin door slammed open with a hard kick and the next few words that came out of the hunter’s mouth were short and vicious as he took in the sight of his younger brother tied spread eagled on a huge bed that basically took up the cabin’s one room.

Slightly relieved to see that Sam’s jeans were still on, Dean didn’t miss either the bulge or damp spot that still made his offer a snarl at his other self but then he caught the blindfold and gag as well as the soft muffled sounds and the way Sam’s wrists were struggling in the ropes and moved forward.

“Hey, calm down,” he finally spoke, hating the roughness he heard and saw the tiny jerk of Sam’s body at it as he tensed briefly before slowly going limp as the bed went down under Dean’s weight as he sat on the edge to take a quick look before swearing again and reaching up. “Sam…shit.”

Dean’s eyes took in mild bruises along his brother’s jaw when he moved to remove the blindfold first and then went for the gag. “I am so deep frying that damn Angel in Holy Oil the very next time he shows up,” he decided firmly, seeing the bottle of water with a straw sitting beside the bed and grabbed it after noticing the way Sam’s tongue kept swiping over his lip. “Here, take a sip before I get you loose.”

Sam did just that in an effort to both wet his mouth again and to remove the leftover taste of come that had dried on his tongue and using the time to also try to gauge his brother’s mood.

A look after his vision cleared again told him Dean was angry but he couldn’t be sure if it was because of his mistakes or just the whole event.

Tired after this whole thing and trying to ignore how badly his cock was pressing against the zipper of his jeans, Sam let his head fall back to the pillow while hearing the sound of a switchblade opening and felt the ropes begin to loosen.

“I so hate that Angel,” Dean was muttering, eyes focused on cutting the rope rather than risk cutting Sam if he tried to use the blade too close to his wrist but also keeping an eye on his brother, catching the little tells that worried him but not commenting. “I am so lojacking your ass the next time I leave you alone,” he did finally speak and knew the moment Sam’s tired and a little too huge eyes dropped and he shifted his head away that he’d taken it the wrong way. “Sam…”

“No…sorry this…sorry, De’n,” Sam murmured, mouth still dry, his throat was raw and right now he just wanted to curl up somewhere but the constant pressure between his legs reminded him that he’d have to ask his brother for that much help. “Are you…okay? He didn’t hurt…”

Turning his head away from the rope to stare down, Dean realized his brother was asking if he’d been hurt even when he was still tied to a bed. “No, just frustrated,” he replied, feeling the first rope snap and caught the stiff arm before it could drop. “Easy, move it down slowly,” he urged after feeling around to shoulder to make certain it hadn’t been dislocated. “I’ll get the ropes after I finish with the rest of them.”

It took several minutes before Sam’s other wrist and his ankles were free. Dean cursed briefly at the slight abrasions around Sam’s ankles but then his concern shot through the roof as he removed the remaining ropes from his brother’s wrists and felt blood.

“Damn it,” he bit back the rest upon feeling Sam tense but he held on to the hand carefully, turning the right wrist over to try to gauge how deep the cuts were and knew Sam had been twisting in the damn ropes a long time to cause this much damage. “I’ll clean this off and dress them as soon as we get you out of here and to a motel and then you also better deal with this other issue,” he smirked a little, while standing up to hold out a hand to support Sam’s shaking legs. “Guess I shouldn’t be too concerned about what he did or didn’t to since you must have…Sam.”

Trying to jerk away, Sam swore as he almost fell when his legs wanted to buckle after being tied for so long and only the fear of an unspoken threat to his brother kept Sam from touching himself to relieve the pressure of needing to come so bad he could’ve wept but he clearly couldn’t ask Dean to help if he thought he’d enjoyed…he knew in some way he had but to hear his brother assume that or not even ask…hurt him deeper even than what had been done.

“I’m…fine,” he suddenly just wanted out of the cabin. He wished for a shirt and didn’t even notice he was still in his bare feet as he tried to walk on his own only to feel his brother grab for him when he nearly fell again. “Damn it.”

“You’ve been tied to that bed for more than three days so walking outta here on your own probably isn’t helping and you’re gonna just get stiffer so let me help you,” Dean hated the sound of his own voice and knew it was probably the reason for Sam’s jerking but it was still so hard for him to ignore everything recently.

“Sorry…just want away from this place,” Sam mumbled, not noticing the sharp rocks on his feet as he tried not to let on how uncomfortable he was right then as he eased into the Impala and groaned as sitting just seemed to make his jeans all that tighter on his trapped cock as he worked on finding a way to sit that didn’t make him want to tell Dean everything and take his reaction if he’d only help him one more time.

He hadn’t even realized when his brother had slid behind the wheel to start the Impala until he felt the car rocking over the gravel driveway and it was just an effort to keep his hands off his crotch but he still wouldn’t risk Dean if what the other man had said was true and knowing how Gabriel could be Sam wouldn’t put it past the candy and sex loving Archangel to hurt his brother in some way if he disobeyed.

They’d been driving for about thirty minutes of uneasy silence before Dean finally couldn’t take it and glanced over to see that Sam’s whole body was rigid as he seemed to be slumped low in the seat and as far against the door as he could get as if afraid of any physical contact.

It had gotten dark but the few lights on the nearly empty highway still allowed him to see the slightly heavy breathing even though Sam wasn’t making any noise unless the car hit a bump and then it was a low sound that was almost pain.

“Are you gonna take care of that before I do have to worry about taking you to an ER for blue balls?” he asked upon seeing that Sam’s fingers were white knuckled against his thighs but making no move to touch the clear erection.

Dean frowned a bit more at the quick shake of Sam’s head, sighing and figuring if his brother wanted to suffer through it then he’d let him. “You know it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen you jerk off,” he commented, biting the growl that wanted to come when Sam turned his head to the window, missing the reflection of a car headlights shining on tears.

“Sam, c’mon…talk to… _sonuvabitch_ , now what?” Dean grabbed his phone with one hand while trying to drive with the other and not notice the way his brother’s shoulders were hunching more and seemed to be shaking. “What?”

“Hey, Chucklehead,” an all too happy voice spoke, laughing at the low snarl from the hunter. “Don’t wreck the car. I’m just calling once because I figure with as boneheaded as you’re being these days you might not pick up on the subtle clues being dropped and I know damn good and well you’ve probably popped something off so Sam won’t even tell you why he’s not taking care of that all too sensitive problem I had your other self leave him with.”

Considering hanging up, Dean stopped in mid threat at that clicked with him and slowly some of what his counterpart had said began to sink in. “Come again?” he shot a glance next to him to once again see that Sam was gripping his thighs like his life depended on it. “What…what the hell are you talking about?”

“Damn. You’re still as thickheaded as ever, Dean,” Gabriel polished an apple on his shirt was rolling his eyes. “Y’see, your counter-you needed to feel and touch Sam, any Sam, since his own is still kind of messed up, so my deal was I’d drop him on you guys so he could have some time doing whatever he needed to on the condition that when he left he had to leave your little brother hard and aching…and he’s not allowed to touch himself or rub against anything or…well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be good for you.

“See, I’ve been watching you two morons since I…came back and I’ve noticed since you’ve been back that you haven’t given Sammy even a look or pat on the head and it’s killing him so I thought this would help but you’re being an imbecile and a blind one at that,” the Angel snorted. “You think he got off on being tied up while the you from wherever touched him? You probably think that’s why he’s so hard now and you probably said that to him and he’s clammed up.

“The damn kid is so touch starved that even though he might’ve enjoyed being touched a little he begged you…well other you not to kiss him because he was scared it would be like cheating on you even though you’re treating him like a leper…his term, not mine,” the Angel sounded disgusted. “I’ve seen the things he’ll do for you. I’ve seen the things you’ve done for him…so you better make this right soon…unless you want to lose him for good and I don’t mean to some dog and a vet cause that chippie never could get him to make the sounds you used…”

The phone clicked off with a barely disguised urge to throw it out the window. Slipping it away, he let his fingers clench on the wheel while running his tongue over his teeth. “Hey, I never thought to ask and I should’ve…just what did my alternate asshole of a self do to you?” he asked as casually as possible, needing a starting point to try to gauge how much he’d screwed up. “I mean…did he…umm…”

“No, he didn’t fuck me if that’s what you’re asking,” Sam knew he sounded bitchy but by this point he didn’t care.

He was tired, sore, hungry, thirsty, miserable and just wanted the one thing he now knew he never have again so that was why his mouth was going against what his head knew not to say. “He didn’t want me that way anymore than you do it seems…though at least he let me suck him off even if it was only because Gabriel insisted that was how he had to…Dean!”

The Impala was jerked off to the side of the now deserted road and in the heartbeat that it took Sam to get his heart out of his throat at the sudden unexpected move he realized Dean was out of the car, around the hood to jerk his door open and kneel down. “Look at me.”

The steel in that voice never failed to make Sam obey even when they were fighting the worst but he couldn’t hold the heated look for long and began to lower his chin when strong fingers curled under his jaw to lift it back up.

“When did I saw that?” he asked tightly, feeling the drying tears on his brother’s face and felt like cursing himself. “I never said I didn’t want you, Sam.”

“No, you just think I’m a horrible brother who left you for dead and won’t come within five feet of me unless we’re on a case and that’s only because you have to!” Sam snapped, too strung out right then to care what he said and wishing they could just get to a motel so he could at least find a shirt. “Look, I’m…sorry for saying that and if you wanna fight, fine…but can we at least do it someplace warm?” he’d rubbed his arms if he could get his fingers out of his thighs.

Using the dome light to see better, Dean could now see the light rain of goosebumps that littered Sam’s bare upper body and swore at his own stupidity for not even finding him a shirt to put on. “Wear this,” he slipped out of his flannel shirt but noticed that his brother’s fingers were not moving and a look down told him why and he suddenly felt a familiar stirring of his own but ignored it. “Need some help with this?”

Jerking at the drop in voice, Sam’s eyes snapped up but then away. “Ummm…I…” he tried to think of an excuse, any excuse to not let this happen since he didn’t want his brother to do this because he felt obligated to but he also knew he couldn’t fix this one himself. “He…there’s a…oh God,” he groaned, biting his lip as the dome light was flipped off to offer a little privacy as Dean reached in to shift him so his long legs were out of the car. “Dean…”

“We’re not going anywhere until you can move right and I have doubts right now if you’d even be able to walk,” Dean’s fingers shook only slightly as he reached for the snap and zipper to find and free the straining cock that was blood red, fully swelled and dripping precome. “He put a damn cockring on you and then…what the hell did he do, Sam?”

Struggling just to breathe at the feel of Dean’s fingers gingerly touching him to bring his cock out of the restricting denim, he gasped and figured he’d come the second the cockring was removed. “He didn’t hurt me just…it was weird and…” he drew his bottom lip with his teeth to keep from admitting how he hadn’t wanted to betray his brother.

“Yeah, the bloody wrists and leaving you hard like this without the ability to get off isn’t hurting you,” Dean snorted though he thought he understood what his brother meant since even he’d said he hadn’t hurt Sam but then there were different ways to hurt as he well understood and it looked like he’d been the one to hurt his brother the most. “Shit…Sam,” he breathed after seeing how tight the ring around the base of his brother’s cock was and knew he had to be in pain. “Hurts?”

“Just…just a little,” Sam hissed, his fingers still embedded in his thighs as tears fell unwanted down his face and he gave up on the urge not to beg. “Please, Dean. Just need to…come…then you don’t have to…have to touch me again but please…need you to…”

“I’ve got it,” Dean kept his head down as if concentrating on what he was trying to do in the dark and not on the surge of emotion that threatened to come at the sound of pure loss and hurt reflected in his brother’s shaking voice. “They shouldn’t have done this to you or left you like this.”

Sam wanted to explain what he could, how the other version of his brother hadn’t wanted to do this but it was a condition laid on the deal by Gabriel but just as he opened his mouth to speak all that came out was a low moan, a whimper and then a cry of relief as he comes hard with just a few expert movements of Dean’s hand over and around a cock that had been screaming for relief.

Reaching up with his free hand to grip the closest shoulder to keep Sam from falling out of the Impala as his hips thrust up into Dean’s hand that still carefully and slowly rubbed from base to tip to both draw the orgasm out and help Sam ride it out, Dean shifted in time to avoid the white strips of come that shot hard and fast over Sam’s jeans and the dirt on the outside of the Impala before finally he slumped forward with a gasp.

“Hey, easy. Take it easy now,” Dean’s grip had tightened on his brother to keep him inside the car but Sam was nearly boneless now after using the rest of his energy on the climax that had been so hard and strong that Dean wondered when the hell the last time his brother had one like that. “Okay now?”

Sam’s body was limp but slowly he moved his hands to offer a weak thumbs up before slumping back against the seat. “Thanks,” he whispered, feeling a little uneasy now but also just wanting a shower and to sleep. “I’m sorry you had to be the one to…” he broke off to pull his eyes back open as he was tucked back into his jeans and his legs were physically put back into the car before the door shut and for a moment he was alone with just his own thoughts and tears.

“Wrap up in this until we get to a motel,” Dean’s jacket was handed over after he restarted the Impala, turning the heater on and wishing he’d just swallow the damn emotions that kept him from reaching over to pull the shivering younger man against him like he’d done so many times in their lives. “You can take a hot shower and I’ll dress those cuts.”

“Yeah, alright,” Sam murmured, just noticing how raw his wrists were but blocking out the pain as he just laid his brother’s denim jacket over him and was immediately glad for the warmth. “Dean?” he waited a couple seconds before taking the silence as an okay to continue. “Um, thanks for coming after me. I’m sorry this distracted you from anything or if…you needed to be anywhere else.”

Dean understood that to mean if he had been asked by Benny to help him again and now that he was listening closer, looking harder he both heard and noticed the strain in Sam’s voice and also the faded scars lining his lower back that his brother had always been careful to not let him see before now.

As he drove a little faster toward a motel he’d passed on the way to find his brother, Dean kept seeing the subtle little movement from the corner of his eye and knew what it was without looking because it was engrained in Sam to reach out for some form of contact if he’d been hurt or was upset over something.

Watching Sam’s fingers move on the seat as if he was consciously trying not to reach out to him, almost like he was scared his touch wouldn’t be accepted or wanted reminded Dean how cold and cruel he’d been to his younger brother lately and once again the words of his counterpart hit him and slowly the little things he’d seen or heard began to click.

The uneasiness Sam had shown if Dean brought up certain things, the nightmares that Sam tried to say he wasn’t coping with again, the odd behavior of not showing his brother his back and finally the way Sam had nearly panicked the one time Dean mentioned calling on Jefferson for some help on monster lore.

Pulling into the motel lot, Dean was relieved to see not too many cars which would offer some privacy as he parked by the office. “Stay put,” he offered upon getting out and wanting to kick himself after seeing Sam wince and knew his brother probably thought he was making a comment on his habit of either walking away or vanishing.

It took less than ten minutes to book them into the last room at the end of the row even though there were plenty of free ones; Dean wanted that one and was also relieved it had everything he’d been considering.

Sam had grown quiet as Dean drove up to and parked in front of the room to get out to unlock the door before noticing that Sam hadn’t followed him and he hoped he could fix not only the cuts and bruises Sam had gained from this latest incident but also some of his own screw-ups as well.

“Need help getting inside?” he asked after grabbing the duffel bags to toss them into the room and going to grab for the medical kit. “Sam? You need help?”

“Huh? Oh, no. I can make it,” Sam cursed himself for letting his thoughts go, noticing that Dean was standing closer than he had in a month.

The parking lot was pavement which felt warm under his bare feet but as Sam stepped into the room he didn’t immediately notice the décor of the room or the furnishings as his tired eyes moved to the bathroom and a burst of memory came back.

“Take a shower to get warm and wash the blood off while I grab the bandages and stuff to wrap your wrists with,” Dean dropped the kit on the table, looking up to frown a little more. “Sam? You alright or are you hurt more than you’re saying?” he demanded after seeing that Sam was still staring at the bathroom. “You said the asshole didn’t…”

“What? No, he didn’t,” Sam finally shook himself and took a few steps but turned with his hand on the door. “Can I leave this open?”

A little surprised that Sam would want to leave the bathroom door open considering how private he usually was lately, Dean merely nodded and started to dig for the antibiotic salve he’d need when he felt Sam watching him. “What?”

“Stay in the room until I get out?” Sam asked softly, feeling like he was nine again and looking for the security his older brother often gave him. “You can use the laptop to check for a case around…wherever we are or watch porn or…”

“You’ll let me watch porn on your laptop?” Dean was now tempted to check Sam for a fever when it hit him what was happening and he laid the roll of gauze down. “Sam, go take a shower. No one’s coming in this room and I’m not leaving so you’re safe.”

The small grateful smile tugged at Dean’s heart more than he’d let himself feel since returning but it was fairly simple for him to see why his brother was worried about entering the bathroom since that was how he’d been grabbed by his asshole counterpart.

Listening for the shower to start, Dean dug into his brother’s duffel to find some clean clothes but made his selections carefully before quietly easing into the bathroom to sit them down, taking a brief look at Sam’s silhouette through the shower door and didn’t miss the shaking hands leaning against the wall to support him or the way he used the running water and steam to cover the broken sobs or whispered apologies.

A piece of Dean, a huge piece, wanted to touch Sam then to stop the bitter pain he still could hear and recognize as he accepted that everything both Gabriel and the him from that other place said were true and regardless of the fact that Sam had been the one hurt, tied up and used in some way his brother felt that Dean blamed him or that it was his fault.

Stepping back into the bedroom to make noise of some kind to let Sam know he was still there and that he wasn’t alone, Dean took a moment to focus on what he’d been told about Sam’s life during the time he was in Purgatory.

He’d jumped to the conclusion that his brother hadn’t looked and left hunting right after the final fight with Dick Roman. The anger and hurt that brought had been a huge reason that Dean had been treating Sam like crap and perhaps why he hadn’t allowed the mile high walls to strengthen even when more than once recently he’d felt the urge to pull his clearly emotionally raw little brother into his arms and…

Years of being with Sam, of touching him, of kissing him allowed him to know what his brother liked and didn’t like. The fear and guilt in Sam’s eyes as he thought Dean hadn’t wanted him or had only touched him in the car because he had to hurt because not touching his brother since his return had been murder on Dean.

“Shit,” he whispered, squeezing the bridge of his nose while hating himself. He’d laid all the damn guilt and crap on Sam when it was him making the mistakes and it took nearly losing his brother again to begin to make him see that.

It took being told by his own face that Sam hadn’t given in to the feelings he could’ve had with the other _‘Dean’_ , had actually begged not to be kissed because he didn’t want to betray him when in so many ways Dean had been the one to hurt Sam.

Hearing the shower cut off finally, Dean quickly cleared his face of the building emotions to watch as Sam stepped back into the room after a brief towel off to see he’d dressed in the simple loose pair of sweatpants rather than jeans and stayed quiet while Sam dug into the duffel until he came out with a faded and worn old hoodie that Dean had thought vanished years ago.

“Warmer?” he asked and didn’t miss the quick jerk as Sam’s head snapped up to find him before finally noticing that the room only had one king size bed.

“Uh, yeah,” Sam stared at the bed, confused a little since they’d gone back to having two queen size beds in the rooms they rented. “What’s…” he couldn’t find a way to ask about the bed situation but then his eyes caught the faded and kind of stained sofa and started to move toward it while finding the bottom of the hoodie to begin to pull it over his head. “Still cold for some reason but…I’ll be fine as soon as I lay down and actually sleep,” he gave a shaky smile. “I’ll dress my wrists in the morning or…”

“No, we’re going to dress them now,” Dean corrected, fingers closing on a suddenly all too shaky elbow to turn his brother back to the bed since he wouldn’t even put the duffels on that sofa. “Leave that off until I dress them and check for any other bruises or wounds that need cleaned.”

Sam tensed a little as he sat on the bottom of the bed, feeling the mattress sink and wishing he could just sleep for a few hours since he honestly wasn’t sure when the last time he’d slept had been but knew Dean was just doing what he felt he had to and laid the hoodie over his legs while allowing his brother to see his red and raw wrists.

“Tell me again how this isn’t you being hurt?” Dean hated to see the deep cuts on his brother’s wrists, sitting beside him to carefully begin wiping antiseptic over the cuts to clean away any infection and catching a few spots of fresh blood. “This looks like you’re hurt to me, Sam.”

“I woke up tied and blindfolded. I fought the ropes and I fought them again at the end when he…” Sam stopped on a hiss as the dreaded antiseptic burned, blinking suddenly at the feel of a thumb gently caressing over his wrist just under the abrasions. “I know it was wrong to say yes, to let him touch me but I kind of understood his feelings since I sort of would do the same thing in his place,” he watched the slow motion of Dean’s thumb as it rubbed soothingly until the pain went away.

“He didn’t…hurt me like that. It was just touches and he stopped kissing me when I asked him to it was just the gag and not being able to see and feeling his mouth on me through the jeans that finally freaked me out because I didn’t want him to make me hard because I didn’t want you to feel obligated to touch me just cause Gabriel wanted to screw with us some more,” Sam was tired and relaxing again now that he was able to feel safe and he knew his brother was there and not paying much attention to what he was saying.

“Huh,” Dean stuck his tongue into his cheek to keep from saying the first thing that came to mind with that spiel and focused on lightly coating the wrists with salve to help them heal before wrapping them with gauze.

The image of his brother waking up tied and blindfolded pissed him off because he knew Sam’s phobias but the other image seriously pissed him off, not to mention Sam’s own belief that he touched him out of obligation. “Is that why you think I did what I did in the Impala?” he asked carefully, needing to keep his tone level because he understood all too well that right now Sam would be easy to spook. “Because I had to?”

“I couldn’t without hurting you or so he said and you got tired of me not taking care of it so…yeah,” Sam blinked again, realizing his hoodie had been moved at the same time that he felt strong warm fingers reach up to touch a bruise on his jaw from where the rag with the chloroform had been held. “Like I told him, you haven’t wanted me like that since you got back…he didn’t want me like that either though he said it was because I wasn’t his and he didn’t have a right to make love to me…”

“Damn straight he didn’t,” Dean muttered to himself, surprised at the spurt of anger he’d felt at the thought of anyone, even another version of himself, touching his brother.

The exhaustion and mild shock that was now hitting him didn’t allow Sam to catch the softly made comment. It also wasn’t allowing him to catch what his own mouth was saying either as he took a second to examine the well wrapped gauze around his wrists.

“He reminded me a little of you…well you when you didn’t hate me so much,” he murmured, dropping his eyes as he watched Dean’s hand curve on his shoulder without realizing he was touching a jagged little white scar on his shoulder. “He missed being able to touch his brother. I get that cause I miss that too.

“I let him do what he needed to and I tried not to like it, Dean. I tried not to because I still try to hold onto the small hope that one day, one damn day I’ll do something right and maybe, just maybe, you’ll forgive me and you’ll want to…” Sam suddenly realized what he was saying and snapped his mouth shut, feeling his heart speed up at the fear of starting a fight that he was in no emotional shape to handle right then.

Reaching to find his hoodie in a desperate attempt to put some distance between himself and his brother, Sam went to stand up only to find himself tugged back down until he was sitting again and green eyes were locked on his paling face.

“I’ll want to be what, Sam?” Dean asked quietly, watching the face he’d grown up with shift through emotions while he was actually strangely calm as he let his hand smooth down to stop at the small of his brother’s back and then back up to his neck. “Tell me what I’ll want to be again.”

“My brother,” the reply was instant but whisper soft, Sam’s gaze locked on the threadbare knee of the sweats because he didn’t want to see the look of negativity reflected back at him. “My…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the rest as the words broke off on a bitter soft sound and tried to move against only to realize he couldn’t bring himself to break the connection he felt on his neck.

“Lover?” Dean finished in an oddly strained voice, not missing the feel of Sam’s pulse under his fingers or the way his breathing changed and knew he’d hit on it even before the brief look of fear crossed Sam’s face and thought he understood it.

He’d more than once told Sam he wasn’t a good brother, that he couldn’t depend on him or trust him which is probably why Sam didn’t think he’d look for him or care that he’d disappeared.

“Is that what you want me to be?” he asked him carefully, letting his fingers squeeze gently against muscles that he could feel tightening and relaxing under his grasp. “I never stopped being those things, Sam.”

“Did…” Sam was dropping whole words now and that worried Dean because while an occasional letter in a word or a vowel in his name was slightly normal under the circumstances to hear his little brother drop full words in a sentence meant Sam was more scared of him than he’d thought and it had been a long time since Sam had been like that with him. “You’re angry with me. You don’t trust me and I get that. I…I…told him you wouldn’t…care what happened or might not even look…”

Dean’s eyes narrowed suddenly, keeping his one hand firm on the back of Sam’s neck while using his other to lift the drooping chin up in his palm so he could make Sam meet his eyes. “I wouldn’t care?” he repeated tightly, knowing and accepting this was his fault and needing to fix it. “I wouldn’t care about what? That I came back to find you gone? To find the bathroom a wreck, to not know who’d attacked you or who had you?

“I wouldn’t care as that damn candy crunching feather head jerked me around to keep me away from you while I didn’t know what was happening to you? That I wouldn’t care or look for you when I knew you hadn’t left on your own? That for three goddamn days all I could picture in my head was the things that you might be going through?” Dean bent his head to catch the moving eyes until finally they stopped to look at him with tears shining.

“The only thing I cared about all this time was finding you, getting to you and then feeding the bastard who’d attacked you in a place you should’ve been safe his damn lungs because I don’t give a fuck if it’s Angels, demons or some asshole who looks like me the damn rule is still the same, no one touches you without bleeding,” Dean growled, feeling the tears under his fingers as he brushed them lightly over Sam’s face.

“Why?” Sam asked softly, not wanting to know it was because looking after him was still drilled into his brother’s brain but also needing an answer.

The question seemed to surprise Dean as he eased back to just look at Sam for several moments before finally he smiled.

Not a more regular cocky smirk or sarcastic grin but the one rare smile that only his brother usually could bring out in him. The softer, loving smile that no one but Sam saw and that one that Dean hadn’t used in a long time as he now used the hand on Sam’s neck to pull him forward into his arms for a hug that he’d wanted to give the second he’d freed his brother in that cabin but hadn’t.

“Because you’re my little brother,” he replied quietly, allowing his tone to begin to drop to the lower, huskier one that came on with emotions but still felt Sam tense at the touch as he squeezed the fingers gently while adding. “You’re my brother, my partner, my best friend…my lover.”

Dean felt the sharp inhale of breath and waited for those shining hazel eyes to snap up to his to offer the words that he still knew he didn’t say nearly enough to Sam. “Love you…Sammy.”

The sob was broken before Sam could bury it, unsure if it was the tone in his brother’s voice, the words or the nickname that Dean hadn’t used since returning that did it but before he could try to bring the shattering emotions under control again his brother’s head moved enough to touch their mouths in a kiss that was slow, soft and loving.

“I never stopped loving you or wanting you, Sam,” Dean murmured, breaking the kiss after several moments but also didn’t move away as he began to offer light kisses over Sam’s face while making certain his fingers never left his brother’s neck but his other hand moved to support when he shifted lightly. “I’ve been wanting this, wanting you, since the first goddamn second I saw you again.”

Sam’s breathing was torn between fast and getting caught in his own throat as his fingers tried to decide if he wanted to touch his brother and risk ruining what he was afraid was a dream when he suddenly realized he was on his back on the bed with Dean standing up to watch him through eyes so dark only a ring of green was visible.

“Dean…you don’t have to mmm,” a hand gently covered his mouth to stop the next words and Sam caught the silent warning, going limp on the bed to watch as his brother moved his hand as if sensing he wouldn’t be comfortable with that this soon.

“What happened in the Impala happened because yes, I knew after that phone call that you were protecting me by not touching yourself to jerk off and because I damn well wanted to touch you,” Dean began firmly, making certain he had his brother’s attention before pulling his t-shirt over his head and reaching for his belt. “You’ve said twice tonight that I don’t want to fuck you and you’re right…I don’t.”

The pounding in his chest went still as Sam’s eyes widened before lowering as he bit his lip, dropping his head to the side in the hopes that his brother wouldn’t catch the look of hurt but gasped as the feel of slow fingers curving around his waist after the bed dipped again under Dean’s weight and the sweatpants began to be peeled down his legs.

“I want to make love to you, baby boy,” Dean’s voice was low and rough, seeing the pain that briefly flashed over Sam’s face and knowing what he’d assumed he meant. “I want to feel you under me, I want to hear you say my name when you come, I want to kiss you all over and take away the images of what that other me did or said,” he smiled at the near stunned look Sam had now. “Can I make love to you, Sammy?”

“God, yes,” Sam told him, fingers curling into the sheet on the bed without even noticing it had been turned down already and he lifted his hips to assist it removing the sweatpants fully a second before the boxer briefs followed and it didn’t even occur to him that this would be the first time in a long time that he found himself fully undressed. “Dean?”

Dean had shed his jeans and boxers and felt himself coming to full life at the sight that he was looking at. From the first time he’d put aside his doubts and reservations about this side of his love for his brother just looking at Sam’s long, muscular and hard body got him hard.

It was no different this time even though the thin scars on Sam’s legs and thighs would require some explaining he was willing to let that go for the moment. “You should’ve told me what happened to you, Sam,” he murmured, laying his hand flat against his brother’s chest to keep him still while moving up to begin to lay soft kisses over Sam’s face.

“What’re…I hate that Angel,” Sam groaned, not wanting his brother to know about that and especially not right at this moment but the hand on his chest settled him again like it always could. “You thought…I…didn’t want you to…I’m sor…”

A kiss over his mouth cut the apology off while Dean’s tongue lightly played over Sam’s lips until they parted to allow him entrance to explore and play. “You let me believe you’d left me to die, Sam. You let me think you’d been away from hunting the full time I was gone and that wasn’t the case,” he whispered against his brother’s lips, touching Sam’s chest with a hand that still managed to be rough yet gentle as it passed over rock hard pebbles before settling on one to lightly tease with his fingertips until he heard a soft whimper.

“Jeff said…if you found out you’d go off half-cocked after Walt…and on top of everything he did…I didn’t want you being hurt or being ashamed that I’d let myself get jumped by him,” Sam’s eyes wanted to close while at the same time they wanted to watch everything his brother was doing in case this was the only time they got to do this. “I…wanted to tell you but…then you got angry and then there was…him and…”

“I owed Benny for getting me out of Purgatory,” Dean smiled against Sam’s throat as he moved his mouth down his jawline to find and settle on his pulse point to begin to suck on it slowly, worrying the skin that still tasted of soap and Sam with his tongue and teeth until he had his brother beginning to twist on the bed. “Like this, Sammy?” he knew the answer because Dean still knew the spots on his brother that would make Sam writhe.

Sam’s fingers had finally found their way into his brother’s short hair to try to grab on to pull him closer and he moaned low while feeling his cock begin to stir again and silently asked himself how far Dean would be willing to go after so long.

“As far as you want me to, little brother,” Dean answered, smirking at the surprised look. “You still talk out loud when you don’t realize it, Sam,” he’d always found that amusing and helpful since some of his brother’s best secrets had come out during sex…not that Sam knew that though. “I plan on making love to you all night and the biggest part of…the rest of our lives so tell me what you want me to do right now…”

The bright and open look on Sam’s face as well as the way he responded to the simplest touch or kiss told Dean that his brother was starved for touch and decided right then that he’d give as much as could tonight but that Sam would never be out of touching distance for a long time.

“Need…want to feel you, Dean,” Sam gasped, too long without this, of wanting it warned the younger man that this first time probably wouldn’t last too long. “Want to come on your cock. Want to feel you inside me and…God…” he tasted blood as he bit his lip as hot lips sucked onto a nipple and a tongue began to roll it around and his hips wanted to thrust up but grunted as Dean’s weight settled over his legs, nearly driving Sam mad with want.

“ _Sonuvabitch_ ,” Dean sat up to slide down enough to straddle Sam’s legs and just watch his brother move under him while his fingers stroked and touched. “Sam, aside from coming in the car…which doesn’t count since that was a half to case of getting you off, when was the last time you really had sex?” he couldn’t believe he was asking that but something about his brother’s actions and the sounds of pleasure he was getting from him made him curious and concerned. “I mean had sex and enjoyed it? Jerking off in the shower doesn’t count either.”

Fighting for control since he knew how easy it would be for him to come right now, especially with Dean’s cock brushing against his every time his brother moved, and the roughness of calloused fingers brushing over the nipples that were now hyper sensitive.

“That…the last time we were together,” Sam got out before moaning, nearly pushing up to try to find his brother’s mouth again but a firm hand on his chest stilled him again with a near bitch face given. “I…was looking for you steady and then after Walt’s attack I didn’t want anyone close to me,” he shrugged, eyes flashing up as he felt his brother sliding lower down his legs. “With Amelia, it was a few times cause she wanted sex and I got her off…but I never did and jerking off just wasn’t the same without you so…”

“So…the car was the first…” Dean had to squeeze the base of his own cock to keep from coming just from the news as he took in Sam’s flushed cheeks, kissed lips and lust blown hazel eyes and the memory of their last time together came back.

It had been hurried and rough, not what Dean wanted to give his brother and not what he wanted for this time either but after learning this he also understood that there was no way in Hell that Sam would be able to withstand slow and patient this first time.

“Scoot up and roll over, Sam,” he heard the roughness in his own voice as he struggled for control right then as he took a couple breaths while Sam moved up fully on the bed to roll onto his stomach with a groan as his cock rubbed the bed. “No way, little brother.”

Dean chuckled at the mutter thrown his way as Sam got his knees under him to lift his ass up a little higher while he put a pillow under his brother for comfort, licking the back of Sam’s neck just to hear him moan his name out on a breath.

“I could just suck you off this time,” he offered, certain of the answer he’d get even before he caught the shake of Sam’s head. “Can you hold off on coming until I’m inside?”

“Want to come with you inside me, Dean,” Sam replied, voice muffled as he smashed his face into the pillow. “I’m ready so…”

“You are so not ready, Sammy,” Dean scoffed, leaning over to grab something from his jeans. “You’ve just told me you haven’t really even had a damn orgasm until I jerked your off in the car so that means…oh shit, baby boy,” he groaned as he just placed the tip of one finger against the tight hole of his brother’s ass and his cock jerked, leaking precome now steadily at the thought of finally being in that hot tight hole. “Sam, you are so damn tight.”

Fingers squeezing the pillow as a gasping moan broke free at the touch of a fingertip along his rim and Sam’s hips were thrusting against nothing as he tried to find some friction. “Dean…please…just touch me.”

“I will,” Dean assured him, pouring lube over the crease while smoothing his palm over the curve of one cheek before slowly beginning to work the warming lube against the tight hole until he slowly got his finger in to the first knuckle. “You weren’t this tight the first time we did this,” he had to place his free hand over Sam’s hip to keep him from thrusting back on the finger that he was carefully trying to slide in.

“I’d been opening myself for six months before that night,” Sam replied, groaning and sure he would come soon when he heard his brother sputter out something like a prayer or a curse. “Didn’t see the reason to do that now.”

Confident his patience was running thin after that admission, Dean squeezed more lube against the hole as his finger finally slipped past the first ring of tight muscle to find its way unerringly right to Sam’s prostate and before either brother knew it Sam was coming with a shout that left him gasping as only Dean’s hands on his hips kept him from thrusting too hard as come shot over the sheet and Sam’s stomach.

“Shit,” Dean whispered, smiling a little as he supported Sam as his thrusts slowed down and he was giving little whimpers while trying to breathe. “It’s been a long time since I could make you come without touching you, Sammy,” he couldn’t remember the last time he had but then reached down to stroke his fingers over tear streaked cheeks. “Hey, what this for?”

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered after his head stopped ringing and he realized what had just happened. “I didn’t want to come yet, not before you and not without…oh!” he gasped at the feel of the finger slipping back in with a second one joining it and he realized the warming lube was helping to stimulate him more.

“We’re not done yet, baby boy,” Dean assured him, leaning over Sam’s back to begin to kiss his neck and shoulders while slowly kissing a line down the center of his spine until he paused at the scar on the small of Sam’s back to lick it slowly, hearing his brother’s breathing begin to pick up again. “You’re still gonna come on my cock and before we leave this room I will probably have you coming over every surface we can find.”

Sam groaned at the promises in those words along with the heat of his brother’s mouth as it grazed over his skin and the two fingers working him open slowly began to scissor, always finding a way to hit the spot in him that made him shudder and push back against those fingers.

“You are still so damn hot like this, Sammy,” Dean murmured, licking across Sam’s hips to lightly bite with enough force to make the younger man actually keen, words that Dean knew weren’t close to English but more like Latin coming out of Sam’s mouth. “I’ve missed seeing you like this. All hot and ready with my fingers stretching you to take my cock and…you have some seriously built up need in you right now,” he laughed openly for the first time since getting free of Purgatory as he watched the way Sam moved back to try to get his fingers in deeper.

“Need…more, Dean,” Sam groaned, wanting to feel his brother and right then not caring if he was stretched enough or not. “Please…I need to feel you…now.”

Dean heard the need and want in the shaky voice and quickly tested a third finger to see how tight it would be, not missing the moan from Sam or the one from his own throat at the feeling of how hot and tight Sam still was around his fingers as he slowly began to move them more until Sam was thrusting back.

“Tell me what you want, Sammy,” Dean’s fingers were moving easier as he nudged Sam’s knees apart more while slipping behind him so that his own hard and dripping cock pressed against the crease of Sam’s ass. “Tell me what you like.”

Dirty talk was a second language to Dean but it didn’t come quite as easy to Sam as his older brother knew well which is why he always tried to get him to do it when he could.

“I want you to fuck me,” Sam’s emotions were strained past breaking as he managed to turn his head to shoot a hot look back over his shoulder to lock eyes with his not still brother. “I want you to shove into me and make me come on your cock and then again in the shower and anywhere else you want to just so long as I know I haven’t screwed this up and…mmhm…”

Reaching down with one arm, Dean pulled Sam up until his chest was pressed into Sam’s back but his mouth had claimed his brother’s in a hot kiss as finally tongues battled for control even though it would always be Dean who came out on top if Sam had a say in that.

“You didn’t screw anything up and we’re gonna be fine, Sammy,” Dean knew it wouldn’t be quite that simple but he’d try to make it that way for his brother’s sake. “Now, put your hands on the headboard and don’t let go,” he licked around the shell of Sam’s ear as he pulled his fingers out to line his cock up with the now lubed and stretched hole. “This is still gonna hurt,” he warned quietly, using his teeth over Sam’s neck to draw a stuttering breath from his gasping brother.

Sam placed his hands flat on the wall above the headboard to support himself as he leaned forward, feeling the head of Dean’s cock press into him slowly and it took all his willpower right then not to push back to get what he so badly wanted to feel.

It had been over a year since he’d felt this, since he’d allowed this that it took some doing to remind his body to relax, to accept Dean and after a couple test pushes, Sam could feel the strength of his brother’s fingers on his hips a second before he rolled his hips forward to thrust into Sam.

“Dean…” Sam groaned, the brief burn quickly replaced by the pleasure only Dean had ever offered him and he felt his brother straining not to thrust harder as he worked his way in past rings of muscle that finally after what seemed like forever his body gave way to take what he’d been desiring for months. “Oh my God!” he cried out, letting his head fall back to rest on Dean’s shoulder.

Thanking whoever he could for his more than normal patience, Dean’s lips were chewed as he fought his own body to not thrust and claim as he carefully worked with little thrusts and rolls of narrow hips until he felt the last ring of muscle relax and with a final thrust he was flush, balls to Sam’s ass, deep inside his younger brother and he held still to allow them both time to adjust, feeling Sam’s head against his shoulder.

“Feel so good, Sammy,” he whispered tightly, voice ragged just from the exertion of that but he still found the strength to roll his hips again to hear Sam whimper as his cock brushed his brother’s sweet spot at the right angle. “So damn good, baby boy.”

Sam shivered at the fullness of feeling Dean buried so deep within him, going to move his head but ran his tongue over his brother’s neck first and not surprised by the mouth that found his or when Dean’s fingers spread over his against the wall to mesh them tightly.

“Love you,” Dean’s mouth was close to his ear as he pressed his chest over Sam’s bowed back to give licks and kisses that he knew would spur his clearly hard again brother on and began to roll his hips with a practiced skill that soon had them both moaning and once again Dean was glad he’d booked the last room on the end.

Situated this way, Sam’s cock couldn’t find friction but he pressed back harder every time Dean thrust forward and whimpered and moaned at every touch of his prostate until he’d found a rhythm to match his moves back to his brother’s thrusts.

“Dean…Dean, want you to come first,” Sam gasped, feeling the tightening in his balls and knew it would be soon that he’d come again. “Please…want to feel you come inside me but I’m gonna…” he tried to pull one hand free to hold back the coming orgasm only to have Dean’s grip tighten, keeping him pinned. “Dean!”

“Shhh, I’m here, Sammy,” Dean could feel how close Sam was after years of doing this and he knew what he wanted. “You’re gonna come now on my cock and I’m going to come right after you as I watch you,” he told him softly, biting harder on Sam’s shoulder. “Now.”

Dean thought it would be harder to slip back a routine they’d shared for years but had lost recently but as soon as he felt his brother shudder against him he knew he had him and braced them both as Sam’s third orgasm of the night and the second in an hour ripped through him without so much as a touch on his cock.

“That’s my boy,” he groaned, feeling Sam trying to pull a hand free to touch himself to milk his cock as Dean’s cock kept hitting that spot in him now with every hard thrust in his ass. “Keep your hands on the wall,” he ordered, moving one of his hands away and down to take the jerking cock in his fist to stroke it firmly to hear the low sounds that brought from Sam’s mouth while stripes of come covered the headboard and sheet as well as adding to the drying come still on his stomach.

Running his finger across the slit to gather some come on the tip, Dean placed it against his brother’s half open lips and groaned the second his whole finger was sucked into Sam’s hot mouth, his hips rolling forward a few more times until suddenly Sam’s teeth raked over his finger while sucking on it with hot wet sounds as Sam pushed back just as his muscles clamped down around Dean’s cock and he dropped his face into the curve of his brother neck as his climax hit.

“Shit!” Dean gasped as soon as Sam’s body clenched around him and he nearly lost it at the familiar feel of his brother around him as his rode the hardest orgasm he could recall having in over a year out while moving against Sam with little jerks of his hips as his cock moved in the tight heat and he knew his load was shooting deep inside Sam which was what his brother had always seemed to want.

“You still like coming on my cock, little brother?” he asked lowly, kissing up Sam’s neck while removing his finger with a wet pop to go back to stroking his brother’s softening cock until he felt the last shudder of both of their orgasms pass and Dean’s arm had to be quick to support Sam when the strength in his brother’s long arms finally gave out. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled.

He slowly eased Sam down while slipping out of his ass with a groan, smoothing a gentle hand over his brother’s long hair as he whimpered at the loss of Dean. “Shh, need to clean up a bit before we sleep,” he murmured.

By the time it took Dean to wipe them both off enough to allow for sleep, pull the come covered sheet off the bed and do a little arranging of the blanket all while not disturbing his boneless but smiling brother, Sam’s lashes were flicking as he tried to wake up and instantly shot a hand out to… “Dean?” the panic was plain in his tired voice until his hand met his brother’s, opening his eyes to find that he was laying curled against Dean’s side. “I…we…sorry if I…damn, so tired,” he mumbled.

“You’ve had four orgasms, haven’t slept in how long and you’re running on fumes, Sammy,” Dean smiled easily, easing an arm under Sam so he could tuck his 6’4” younger brother against him much like he would when they were kids and Sam would be scared. “I probably won’t be seeing your eyes open until late tomorrow night if that.”

Sam wanted to argue that he’d be fine in a few hours but he wasn’t sure since suddenly sleep sounded very good to him, hearing the steady beat of his brother’s heart under his ear. “Stay…here?” he started to look away at the stupid question when a soft kiss was pressed into his hair.

“I’m not leaving you, Sam,” Dean assured him, getting that it would be some time before Sam would feel comfortable with being alone. “I’ll call out for food if you’re not awake but I won’t leave you alone…” he stopped as his cell rang and felt the way his brother went rigid.

Stretching his hand to grab the phone where he’d placed it by the bed, a look told him who it was and for once it made Dean grimace. “Hey,” he greeted, hearing the familiar Cajun accent of the vampire that had helped him get out of Purgatory. “Benny…”

Sam’s eyes dropped for a second and he went to move when the arm around him strengthened to keep him where he was, not understanding as he looked up to see that Dean’s eyes were on him.

“I can’t,” Dean finally spoke, not sounding upset or angry just calm while the fingers of the hand resting over Sam’s shoulder moved up to tuck a loose piece of hair back away from his brother’s face with a smile that was fully for Sam. “Yeah, end of the road,” he nodded to something the vampire said but never moved his eyes away from his brother’s face. “What I have to take care of now…he’s the important thing to me and yeah, I do and yeah, I will. Take care of yourself, Benny.”

The phone disconnected and was tossed toward the duffel bags as Dean slowly shifted so Sam was laying closer with his head on Dean’s chest, his one hand flat. “Just you and me, little brother,” he began lowly, voice pure honey and sex coated sugar when his lips met Sam’s in a slow heated kiss. “You, me, the family business…if that’s what you want.”

Still stunned at what he’d just seen and heard, Sam slowly nodded with relief in his eyes. “Yeah, that’s what I want, Dean,” he gripped the hand closest to him as the exhaustion of the past few days won out and he felt sleep calling him even as he tried to fight it. “Thanks for…”

“Don’t ever thank me for this, Sam. I love you as my brother and as my lover…and if you shoot me one dopey look I’m making you sleep on that sofa,” Dean growled but the happiness was plain as he slowly let himself settle in, tucking the blanket around Sam to keep him warm because he’d only bothered to slip his brother back into his boxer briefs the same as he’d done himself since he planned to keep that promise of the shower as soon as Sam was fully awake.

“I will kill the next asshole who comes close to you or even tries to grab you and…Walt will die quite painfully the first chance I get at him,” he added, laying two fingers against Sam’s lips to stop the argument. “He touched what was mine, little brother and in any side of your lives that’s not allowed and Jefferson knows that better than anyone. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.”

Sam thought about it before nodding, closing his eyes and listening to Dean’s heart and also his voice as he began to talk about anything really just because he wanted to let Sam know it was safe to sleep and that he wouldn’t be alone.

“…love you,” he murmured, halfway to sleep before he heard the whispered reply and felt the kiss to his forehead.

“Love you too, bitch.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this and feel free to look me up on Facebook under morganaDW for updates on new Wincest fun or to chat.


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